… the end.

Just kidding! But kind of because I wake up every morning so grateful that I chose to take the plunge and bet on myself. Before I dive in here, I want to clarify that I do not think that everyone should up and quit their job or that what I’ve done is the “right” thing to do. We all have our own version of what’s right for each of us, so this is definitely not an ode to how you NEED to start your own business. What this post is about is focusing on trusting yourself, taking risks to achieve your next level, and not settling. Maybe you love your job, and I hope you do! But, if you don’t like your job or if there’s some other aspect of your life you’re trying to advance, I think the sentiment will apply to that as well.

I’ve seen the trend going around on Instagram when people post a reel about what they regret about starting their own business and they don’t regret a thing! Yes, it is absolutely clickbait, but I like it because there are few things more exciting than being surrounded by people (physically and digitally) that absolutely love what they’re doing. Passionate people are my kind of people! In the same vein, I don’t like how social media can glamorize starting your own business or gloss over the obstacles that you might encounter. Not everyone is going to blow up or build a brand overnight, and it’s easy to feel like that’s what’s happening if you don’t know the backstories of the accounts you are following online.

I don’t regret starting my own business, but there a some things I regret not knowing sooner that might’ve made my experience a little bit easier. It’s important to remember that, even in a world that has glamorized, “no regrets!”, that regret is good and healthy. Regret is a sign that we’ve been able to have experiences and understand where we could’ve shown up better. Regret is part of our learning, adapting, and growing. So, while I certainly do not regret starting my own business, here are some regrets that I have that will hopefully help you in your own ventures.

I regret not establishing clear, strong boundaries.

Boundaries (personal and professional) are so important and, when you start your own business, they become even more critical. When I first started my business, I took for granted that I would maintain healthy boundaries as I have always done. I have gotten increasingly better saying “no” to things I don’t have the bandwidth for and, thanks to some great mentors, I have continued to develop strong but appropriate language that I can use when I’m in situations with unhealthy or unprofessional communication. I really thought that I had it all figured out. Until I didn’t.

I like to expect the best out of people, and I still do. But, having a stronger sense of boundary would’ve been really helpful in the beginning. I was so anxious over occasions of super inappropriate communication and really toxic interactions because I wasn’t prepared to draw and enforce healthy boundaries. If I could go back, I would be stronger for myself to avoid that stress and anxiety. Did I learn and grow from it? Yes. Did I need to live through it? No.

I regret not taking more time to myself.

A big part of starting my own business was an effort to build a life that I could live and love. My focus wasn’t on something as small as a job, it was on the bigger picture of building a positive impact to leave behind and a life that would bring me joy and fulfillment. Part of being able to build that is taking time to walk, sit in the sun, sit quietly in your thoughts, and let your mind wander. In the hustle to build and grow something, I let myself forget the importance of my own time in ensuring that I would be healthy and invigorated enough to actually achieve it.

Not everything needs to be completed in a day, so I regret not taking more time in the beginning to refresh myself with coffee dates and the chance to read a book. It definitely isn’t an automatic action for me to take a beat or step away from work, but that is something that I am working to correct so that I can live a healthier life.

I regret not doing starting my own business sooner.

I’m sure most people say this, but even though I feel this way, I also know that everything happened exactly the way it should have. I would have never been as prepared or as passionate had I started any sooner than I did. I needed to go through difficult situations to refine how I could handle them. I needed to get to all of those professional education programs and conferences to bulk up my knowledge base. I needed to experience mini successes and mini failures.

So, sure, I do regret not starting sooner. But, I also know that this is exactly what and where I’m supposed to be.

I regret not considering my own value.

I know for a fact that SO many first-time business owners feel this way. You start off under valuing your time, your patience, and your work. You set your prices and your hours and you feel like you need to ensure that you are accommodating to everyone so that you don’t lose any potential clients. In an effort to kick things off, you wind up discounting yourself. I think that this happens to everyone on some scale, even if you try to avoid it. It’s difficult to place accurate and objective value on yourself when the reality is that we all have insecurities and moments where we can’t be pragmatic about our value.

Even with all the research, education, and time spent building a space in my field, I absolutely came into things with an insecurity and inability to assert my value.

Regret is such a funny thing. We try to avoid it, we say we don’t want it, and we give it a bad name. At the end of the day, it is a tool and a recognition of our knowledge that we can do better or know more. It’s a way of laying a foundation for future growth that we can hold ourselves accountable to. I hope that the regrets I’ve shared are helpful, and that maybe they could even help you have a better perspective on regret as well.