I know it might be confusing as to why this post is under my “Every Girl’s Guide,” but I assure you it makes complete sense. While it isn’t a post about how to get your master’s degree, it is one that applies to “every girl” plus it might provide some little tidbits on how to get through the whole process.

background deets

For as long as I can remember, I have been interested in helping my community. A few months ago when I was home going through boxes of keepsakes with my sister I came across some letters that I had sent to my senator when I was in elementary school. I grew up in a civic-minded family and my mom always impressed upon my sister and me the importance of giving back when you have been blessed with so much. I think this all goes in to why I wound up in the nonprofit sector and why I enjoy my work in development.

program deets

So far, I am one term into a 2-year part-time online master’s program to get a degree in Nonprofit Management. I am taking it through Drexel so that I will be a two-time alumna from the University. What can I say? I’m a loyal Drexel Dragon! I loved my time in Philadelphia, and the freedom to learn, experiment, and dive into my education are all things that my Drexel experience encouraged and provided for. Without that freedom and those opportunities, I know I wouldn’t be the person that I am today. I still correspond with some of my professors from my time in undergrad, and I am so grateful for their wisdom and support. When I graduate, I *should* be in a position to have more doors open to me should I want to move up the ladder in my field. I’m not really sure if this is a goal of mine or not, but I like to keep my options open.

why did i do this to myself

There are so many reasons why I chose to do this program, but if you want the honest-to-goodness truth then you’re going to have to do a little reading.

It was February of 2018 and I felt like I was all over the place. I was still trying to wrap my head around a new life in a new place that I didn’t exactly choose since we had moved to follow Andrew’s placement in residency. Don’t get me wrong, I love where I live, but it can be difficult to be so headstrong but at the same time have to just follow your spouse around for their career. So Andrew and I had having the normal “2 cranky people, one condo” thing going on that week. It was like an entire week of both of us saying the wrong thing nonstop. It was bad, and it made me mad. Did we not just make this extremely difficult move for his career? Did I not just set up our entire LIFE by myself while he started work? Was I not handling all the cooking, cleaning, house management nonsense so that he could *rest* when he got home? Ok, so maybe I wasn’t cooking that much BUT STILL. I was pouring everything I had into making this new life feel purposeful and not like something we dropped into and were struggling to stay afloat in. It was draining every ounce of me and I really felt like I had nothing else to give at that point.

So there I was, feeling under appreciated and also slightly stupid for letting myself bend so far without pumping the brakes. It would have been easy to just be angry – you might not believe it, but I’m actually quite good at that.

The problem with being angry is that the only person it hurts is YOU. You drive all of your energy into all those bitter feelings and you’re left with nothing.

Having to live with that emotion was too much, too heavy, and I wasn’t going to punish myself like that. So, I looked up different graduate programs. I know – it seems like I’m skipping a part of the story here, but that’s really how it happened. There I am, so angry I couldn’t sleep, so I took my laptop out to the couch and spent the rest of the night deciding what I would do with my future. By 12:07am I had sent in my preliminary application for additional information to a handful of schools. And just like that, I was taking the next step.

If you really reflect on it, some of the biggest decisions in life flit by in an instant.

When I bought my first car, I had signed the paperwork before I even realized the gravity of what I had just done and the responsibility that I had just commit myself to (also why did I ever do that??). When Andrew proposed, I said yes – in fact I screamed at him to just “give me the ring” before he could even get the words out. I picked my forever partner in a moment that lasted less than 7 seconds. WILD. All it took was a matter of a few minutes to send in all of my information and reach out to a previous professor for help with a recommendation. Yep, I emailed him in the middle of the night. Totally not weird or quarter-life-crisis-y at all. Nope.

Flash forward to March 2018 and I’ve told no one. I got my letter of recommendation, did a phone interview, drafted a personal statement and spruced up my resume. It wasn’t until July 2018 when I was home for the weekend with my parents that I had to say something, because it was then that I received the call from Drexel that I had been accepted. I was going to grad school and I had no clue how I was going to pay for it and no one in my life knew about it. Try telling your husband you (or anyone super close to you) that you’ve up and decided to make a huge life decision and you actually kept it from them for a significant amount of time. NOT GOOD Y’ALL – NOT GOOD. In my defense, this was a solo venture that I needed for me, so in my eyes the selfishness was completely justified.

So, now we’re here.

So, now we’re here. It’s actually more amazing than you would think because I didn’t know when the first day of classes was until the first day of classes. Now I’m two terms in and I have straight A’s (totally not humble brag). Some days I’m not thrilled to have homework again because I liked adult life without it, but I am learning so much and it feels so good to be working my brain and learning things that help me to work even more effectively in my role. The pride I have for myself is so immense because I went out and did this big, huge thing just for me. If you’re considering taking the next step in your career or education, do it. You will absolutely never regret learning more and pushing yourself to achieve your potential. You will feel so invigorated and proud and strong. While it wasn’t my original intent, this entire situation reinforced a lesson I had already learned. You are in control of your path. You can let obstacles and adversity chip away at you and keep you from your goals, or you let them fuel your desire to do more and do better. You have the opportunity to decide what your path will be, so take this chance to make it the best one!