I have hit that bubble in my life where everyone is starting to get engaged and married and let me tell you, this stuff gets expensive. As a 20-something, wedding gifting can be challenging. Not only is it extremely personal for each bride and groom, but it can also be tricky to budget for. Don’t let a day that should be full of joy and love be clouded by the process of trying to figure out a registry gift. After getting married and attending my fair share of weddings, let me help you get the best gift to take to your next wedding. Let’s get started!

First thing’s first, do they have a registry? The point of a registry is that the bride and groom can indicate what they really want as gifts from their guests. This is so valuable because it makes the entire situation a no-brainer. Some couples specifically want fine china, others specifically don’t want it. The great thing about a registry is that it makes it completely clear and obvious. So, if the couple has a registry, stick to it.

Here are my favorite registry items that I’ve recently gifted:

If the couple has a honeymoon registry (I love these!), you have a whole different set of options. Will you purchase a picnic on the beach, bike ride, surf lessons, the options are endless! This gives you a great chance to pick an activity or amenity you know the couple will enjoy based off of your relationship with them. Try to stay away from funding multiple of the same activity. Once I saw a honeymoon registry where 4 bike rides were purchased for the couple. Now, if the couple was super into biking then maybe that wouldn’t be strange. But, this wasn’t an activity that they were madly in love with and they only wound up biking once on their honeymoon. Use your best judgement and remember that they’re your friends, so you know what they would really get the most out of. This is also a time when going rogue is actually a little bit ok. If they’re going away within the U.S., a Visa gift card to buy airport food and snacks is fun. Or you can call their hotel and have a bottle of champagne delivered to their room (if that’s something they like) for them to enjoy together. These little gifts help complement their overall trip and experience, and honeymoon registries can fill up quickly so you might have to get a little creative if you log on late and don’t have any options.

What if the couple doesn’t have a registry at all? I just encountered this situation recently, and it really isn’t that uncommon. Some couples don’t put together a registry at all. It can be because they already live together and don’t need any housewares or because they’re going on a destination wedding and don’t want guests to bring gifts that they will have to travel with. There are tons of reasons why a couple might not put together a registry, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you should boldly attend empty-handed. It’s always appropriate to write a heartfelt card, whether you include a check, cash, or just your thoughtful words. Cards are great, and every couple enjoys reading them the next day. When you’re in this type of situation, think practically. You know your friends best. If they aren’t into things, you could always get them a gift certificate to eat at their favorite restaurant on their one-year anniversary. You could even go as far as to make the reservation for them. You could have something sent to their hotel room for their honeymoon (champagne, chocolates, etc.), you can gift cash, or you can just bring a card. Chances are, if this is your friend then you know why they’ve opted to not do a registry so you’ll know whether to respect their wishes or swing by a week later with that engraved cheeseboard they had been swooning over. 

TRUE OR FALSE…

Going off the registry is a great way to surprise the couple with something fun that they didn’t think of.

FALSE: Some people think that going off the registry is nice and surprising, but really it can be a little aggravating to receive a set of his and hers bath towels if what you really wanted and needed was the final dinner plate to complete your set. Couples spend a lot of time putting together a registry, so if they’ve taken the time to do it, stick to it. If you are dying to go rogue, wait until their 1-year anniversary or add it onto something they’ve asked for.

The couple asked for a paper towel dispenser. If I buy that off their registry for them they’re going to think I’m a bad friend for getting them a boring gift.

FALSE: If they put it on their registry, it’s because they want someone to gift it to them. I know it can be weird to gift your friend a toaster when the last time you had breakfast together was in a McDonalds off campus after a wild night at the bar, but if that’s what they asked for then that is what they truly want. Let the card be your time to add a more personal touch by telling them how happy you are for them and how special their day will be.

It doesn’t matter how much you spend on a wedding gift.

TRUE: You can choose to buy two dinner plates for $80 as your gift or you could select to fund the random $18 electric wine bottle opener – both are great gifts and it isn’t about how much you spend. When it comes to gifting cash, $100 is a typical amount to gift, particularly for people in their 20s. Older friends and family members might give more in the $200-$500 range. No one wants their friend to be broke after going to their wedding. It really is the thought that counts, so just by taking the time to buy something they asked for off their registry and write a thoughtful note, you are being the best friend and guest you can be.

Personalized items are always best! Opt to engrave their name on a cutting board or add it embroidered on linens to make your gift extra special.

TRUE ..and FALSE! This one is tricky. If you’re talking about your bff who loves a monogram and asked for specific kitchen towels, then you’re probably safe to pop a monogram on them to delight her. If the couple isn’t overly enthusiastic about monograms, don’t do it. Personalized items can’t be returned or exchanged and the recipient feels even worse about trying to unload them because they know you took the extra step to make it special. It winds up being a source of guilt and stress. If you’re questioning adding that personal touch even in the slightest, don’t do it. You can always add a gift card to cover the monogramming and tell the couple to customize them to their heart’s content!

If a couple has more than one type of registry, I only need to by something off of one.

TRUE: Some couples have two registries, a honeymoon registry and one for home goods. No, you don’t have to purchase things off of both. You’re one person, you don’t need to purchase several gifts. But, if you feel so inclined, go for it.