If you’re on this page, you are likely sitting in a similar position to the one I was in roughly 4 years ago today. You’re either dating, or somehow involved, with a medical student or professional. You could be looking for tips, guidance, or just someone to commiserate with. Did it seem weird to Google phrases like, “What is it like to date a med student?” and, “Medical school girlfriend blog”? Yes. It seemed very strange but this journey is not for the faint of heart and I needed answers. There are situations you will encounter and conversations you will have that you might not be entirely prepared for and NO ONE out there is talking about it or sharing the wisdom, at least not publicly.

When Andrew and I first started dating, it didn’t occur to me that it would be a relationship in any way different than any other due to his career choice. Of course it was different – duh – we wound up getting married. But I didn’t think that him being a medical student would really play a role or change the game. Oh how young and naive I was. I don’t mean to exaggerate the situation, but I had dated a lot of guys, and certainly enough to know that this factor was definitely having an effect.

When I first recognized that things were a little bit different I did what I would always do when I was in search of answers: go to Google. At this point I was heavy into reading blogs and enjoyed the anecdotal style advice that I gleamed from them, so I thought, why would this be any different? The first blog I started reading was excellent. It was from the perspective of a young woman, about my age, that had been dating her significant other (and medical student) for a few years. About six days in to reading her blog, I realized that while I was continuing to read posts there weren’t any new posts being added. I would come to find out that despite a 4-year relationship AND engagement, the love story I had gotten to be invested in was over and, not only was it over, it ended in a fiery blaze that was a broken engagement. Ouch (that’s kind of what I thought, but I also thought a lot of other things mostly consisting of expletives).

This did not exactly set the stage for happy fun times. It was actually terrifying, at that time. I could not find one single accounting of where it all went right, and to compound that feeling of horror I was deeply invested in the tv drama Grey’s Anatomy which basically had me thinking that working in a hospital consisted primarily of making out with/hooking up with patients and colleagues all over the germ ridden, band-aid scented hallways of a medical facility. The whole thing was really not cute.

Basically what I’m trying to say is that I understand this is not something that is well documented and it isn’t a topic that you can research. Plus, a lot of people don’t want to get personal about their experience. Just like anyone’s private life, there are challenges and tribulations that aren’t pleasant for the couple involved and certainly don’t portray them well when tossed out into the public sphere. I’ve gotten so many questions from followers and readers just like you to share my story and, generally, just be open about what this life is like. Honestly. So, that’s what I’m going to try to do. I’m going to try to share my experience and stories in the most honest and coherent way possible. I can’t promise it’s going to be uplifting – that’s just really not how life is. I also can’t promise I’ll always say the right thing. I am 100% positive that, at points, the way I phrase things or present them will be crass and seem negative. In an effort to ensure the accuracy of my portrayal of this experience, that might just be the name of the game. I really encourage you to message me with questions if you feel comfortable. I’ve been asked to do this several times but have put it off because I just felt like I couldn’t do it, but it is important and it is something that I would’ve wanted 4 years ago, so hopefully it will helpful for someone today. So, this is it. I hope you will see this as a resource and I hope I can get it right!